Behind Locked Doors
by Chthonic Spock
Summary: Snape and Tonks get locked in a closet together. Wacky happenings ensue. Also: sexiness and wit.


**A/N: Don't expect anything thrilling from this... like for this fic to** **follow any sort of standard of quality. Also, this entire premise is ridiculous and overused, and the fact that it's _Tonks and Snape _just adds to the utter nonsense of it. It's just a silly little one-shot I wrote a while ago that I found again today. I decided to touch it up a little, and by touch it up a little, I mean that I used Spell Check. Um... I don't _really_ know why I'm posting it, but I figure someone will be vaguely amused by it. Oh, and HBP just came out in theatres. What ho!**

**... **

**Disclaimer: I haven't read the books in years, so don't expect any sort of magical knowhow in this. Also, I don't really know anything about Tonks other than she's a shapeshifter of some ilk (read: I don't know how to spell whatever the hell she is), and that she's with Lupin. Haha. So, if there any inconsistencies in her character, please try to refrain from being too outraged.**

xxxx

"I can't open the door, sir." Desperation laced with a thread of panic entered Tonks's voice.

"Ah, I see you have reached the same conclusion as I did one minute prior. I suggest you stand aside and allow someone more adept in such matters to solve this little problem."

Snape could dimly see the movement of vibrant pink hair, as if her head was moving from left to right. "More adept? I'm sorry; I was under the impression that we were the only people in this room."

"_Closet_ would be a more accurate description, I think," he replied, faintly annoyed. "Stand aside, girl; we are both well aware of my superior abilities."

Tonks pressed herself against the wall in an attempt to do as he had demanded; the enclosed space was not particularly conducive for much movement. Snape moved past her, forcing her into the space he had previously occupied.

His low mutterings filled the room as Snape quickly moved through every spell he knew that would serve to unlock the door. Tonks peered over his shoulder, watching intently in the blue glow of Snape's wand. After several minutes, he paused in his spell casting to glower at the lock. "Damn that Black and his wards on every bleeding room in this entire shack!"

"Hm. Sir, I believe your superior abilities have failed you," Tonks said lightly.

"You do realize that you are now _locked_ in a _closet _with _me_ for, at what I can ascertain at this moment, an indefinite amount of time." An unpleasant pause followed this statement, in which Tonks appeared to be considering her unfortunate situation.

"I suppose I'll make do… somehow," she said, her voice trailing off in mock unhappiness.

"Yes, I imagine you will, by sitting down and remaining quiet for the sojourn of this little… mishap."

Tonks pouted in the dim lighting of their wands and drew back into a corner, where she leaned against it with her arms crossed under her breasts. "You're no fun."

Snape drew himself up to his full height and mimicked her movements by crossing his arms under his chest and sneering at her. "I don't _do_ fun, Nymphadora. "

Tonks scowled at him and snapped, "Don't call me that."

"I will call you whatever I want, _Nymphadora_," he growled, only belatedly realizing how childish he sounded. Brusquely, he continued, "You caused this… this _situation_, thereby negating any right you have to demand that I call you by your silly little nickname."

Tonks blushed, and Snape was faintly surprised to see her hair turn red in sync with her cheeks. "Hey, it's not my fault you got all pushy."

"You are a clumsy little nitwit. I merely brushed by you. _You _snatched on to me when you performed that horrendous stumbling trick. And, if I can recall, it was _you _that managed to pull the door shut in the midst of our tumble. If I wasn't already well aware of your dalliances with the werewolf, I would say that you orchestrated this whole nonsense."

"Cor, do I detect a note of _jealousy_?" Tonks taunted, her face splitting into a toothy grin.

"No."

Tonks had never seen a man look so completely deadpan.

Taking another approach to produce more of a reaction from Snape, she murmured in a husky tone, "Well, _Professor, _you must know that I've always had these sordid little fantasies about you." Snape bit back his disgust at her teasing tone.

"Because I am a veritable paragon of the male sex, correct?" His thick sarcasm slithered into the warm, muggy air of the closet.

Tonks laughed outright at his statement. "You aren't _completely _hideous," she said.

Snape rolled his eyes and said, "Goodness. Such high praise."

"That came out wrong," she said quickly, anxious to amend her statement. "I didn't realize you'd take that to, er, heart."

"I am well aware of my own physical shortcomings, Miss Tonks," he said stiffly, staring down his prominent nose at his floundering closet mate. "It is simply irritating to be constantly reminded of them."

"Honestly, Snape. You aren't ugly," the witch said with earnest. Snape snorted loudly and hunched his shoulders, glaring at her with glittering black eyes. His response necessitated an elaboration on Tonks's part. "You're just… different. You've got that sort of, uh, 'tall, dark, and…," she fumbled to find a positive adjective to describe Snape that wouldn't be a blatant lie, "_mysterious_," she said, wiggling her gloved fingers for emphasis, "look about you."

Snape raised a brow and purred, "Oh, do go on, Miss Tonks."

Tonks bit her lower lip as her mind raced for another agreeable quality of Snape's. "You're a powerful wizard!" she said after a moment's pause. "Oh! And you're intelligent!" she exclaimed, tapping her head with her finger. "You're also one of the few Potions Masters in the world, and… you're um, witty," she finished lamely.

"Hm. Well, when you put it like that, it's a wonder that I don't have an entourage of eager women, intent on having their way with me, following me about whenever I'm in public," he replied silkily, his smirk growing with every passing moment. "Tell me, Miss Tonks, why do _you _suppose there is a notable absence of wanton women in my life?"

"Er, _right_," Tonks said, uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. "I suppose it's because… women don't normally take the time to get to know you well enough to realize all of the, um, fabulous qualities that you possess." She flashed him a quick smile the glinted off the light of their wands.

"Oh? But, Nymphadora, _you _know me, and I haven't seen _you _sending me any smoldering looks from across the room," he replied, drumming his long fingers against his arm as he watched her intently, gauging her responses.

"Well, I'm taken," she said shortly, turning her gaze to the floor. Her hair bled into a bright red to accompany her blush before it faded back into bubblegum pink.

"Ah yes, by the werewolf," he said with a distinct smirk

"Yes, by the werewolf," she repeated angrily.

A heavy paused filled the space, seeming to physically press the two of them to opposite corners of the enclosed space.

Finally, Snape let out a breath and said softly, "Of course, it is not as if these sorts of relationships are set in stone."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, giving him an accusing glare as he openly smirked at her. She took a hesitant step forward, her hands placed on her hips to give her the universal Intimidating Woman pose that, throughout time, men everywhere had grown to fear. Snape twirled his wand around slowly between his index and middle fingers, casting bizarre shadows on his face as the weak light source rotated around and around.

"Hypothetically speaking, a certain tall, dark, and mysterious man could, potentially, incite certain, ah, _forbidden_, passions within the young woman," he said carefully, deciding to test how far he could push the witch.

"Er, what?" Tonks's hands dropped to her side as she gave him a peculiar look.

Opting not to respond, Snape took a step towards Tonks, who instinctively moved back towards the corner.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, her eyes becoming narrow slits. Her hair was rapidly shifting to red again, serving only to augment her embarrassment.

"Oh, I believe you are well aware of what I am doing," he murmured, moving ever closer as he did so. Snape could see her pulse jump rapidly at her throat with each step he took, decreasing the distance between them until he was standing directly in front of Tonks. He loomed over her like a mountain as she wilted under his stare.

Reaching forward, Snape tilted Tonks's chin up with a single, long finger, until she was forced to stare directly into his eyes. Her eyes, currently a shining blue, were wide, uncertain—_Merlin_, she was _uncertain_. The fact that he had managed to push her this far was shocking to the wizard. Deciding to take yet another step towards borderline impropriety, he readjusted his hand so that his thumb was pressed lightly against her lower lip. Her mouth opened slightly, giving her a somewhat dreamy appearance that Snape decided he found quite appealing. He moved his hand across her face and tangled his fingers in her hair, which had become a yellow-blonde.

"Professor Snape, you're trying to seduce me," Tonks said, her voice somewhat breathy. The wizard quirked a brow and said, "That would be an accurate observation." He paused, then, after a moment's consideration, asked, "Am I succeeding?" Even as he said this, he slid his leg between hers so that their bodies were pressed together.

"I-I —yes," she whispered as his fingers danced across the back of her skull. "Yes, you are."

Snape gave her a sly grin as he moved his face close to her own, intent on capturing her lips and making her regret ever having thought him unattractive, unappealing, less worthy than that mange-ridden werewolf. Perhaps, afterwards, she would think of this moment only with regret, but _now_, at this very moment, she was _his_. A part of her would always belong to him, and she would know.

He cocked his head slightly to the side, then, moved in. His lips touched hers, just barely, eliciting the softest of moans from Tonks, though Snape could hear it as clearly as the ring of a bell. A surge of triumph raced through his body, making him shiver ever so slightly.

Suddenly, her hands were in his hair, pulling his face even closer, and their lips were pressed together, and they were both tumbling into a world of fiery, passionate sensations. Their wands lay forgotten on the floor, shining slightly in the pale darkness of the closet.

"Tonks? Where are you?" a soft voice drifted to them through the closed door. The witch immediately pulled away from Snape, distress replacing the lustful expression that had previously captured her face.

A wave of immense frustration swelled up within Snape at the sound of Lupin making his way down the hall. However, he conceded that it would be highly inappropriate to be found in such a compromising position, no matter how much pleasure it would give him to see the look of utter shock on the werewolf's face if he were to witness the two of them engaged in such illicit activities. He stepped away from Tonks and bent down, picking up both of their wands. He handed Tonks her wand, resting his fingers on her hand until she yanked it away, averting her eyes in shame.

"Very well," Snape bit out, taking yet another step back. "Kindly make your hair a more suitable color, if you please. We wouldn't want the werewolf to suspect that anything unseemly had been occurring during our time together."

Tonks glared at him, but screwed her eyes shut until her hair flushed into the obnoxious pink she appeared to prefer. She combed her fingers through the strands in an effort to make it tidier.

"Tonks? Did you lock yourself in a closet again?" Lupin called, this time closer to their present location.

"Answer him," Snape ordered harshly, hunched against the wall several feet away from the witch.

Tonks, spurred into action, cried out, "I'm in here!" She rubbed furiously at her lips, as if she were attempting to remove an embarrassing stain.

Footsteps were heard rushing down the hall to their location. "Tonks?" Lupin asked from the other side of the door.

Tonks hurried to the door and said, "Get me out of here! I've been trapped in this bloody closet with Snape for the past half an hour!"

Lupin let out a horrified gasp that was quite audible, despite the thickness of the door. Snape rolled his eyes in annoyance and hunched down further against the wall. "Stand back!" he shouted.

Tonks, heeding his advice, moved to the back of the closet with Snape.

"Miss Tonks, my dear, you seem nervous," Snape purred in her ear. "It isn't as if Lupin will ever have to discover this little mishap. The scent can easily be explained by the close proximity in which we had to remain in during our time in here, as well as the tumble we took in order to put ourselves in this situation."

"I hate you," she growled.

"Blatantly candid as always, Nymphadora."

Just then, the door was blasted open by Lupin, who proceeded to rush into the closet and drag Tonks out. He immediately began consoling her and questioning her concerning her current state of health. Snape followed the pair in a statelier manner, gliding out of the closet and into the cooler air of the hallway.

"Merlin, how did you survive in there?" Lupin asked, concern shining brightly in his features.

"I'm fine, Remus. Really," she said, ducking her head against Lupin's shoulder. "Let's just get away from there."

They began to make their way down the hall until Lupin turned back to see Snape still standing by the ruined doorway.

"Er, you alright, Snape?" Lupin asked, obviously uncomfortable.

Snape looked up with feigned surprise. "Oh, pay me no mind, werewolf. It's your dearest Miss Tonks that you should be concerned with. After all, she _was _locked in a _closet _with _me_," he said, echoing the words he had spoken to Tonks just a few minutes prior. "It's really quite miraculous she managed to make it out with her sanity still intact."

Lupin gave him a curious look and turned away, though not before he caught a glimpse of the self-satisfied smirk that lit Snape's lips. Tonks quickly tugged Lupin away before he made comment of it, trying control the blush that was threatening to spread from her cheeks to her hair.

xxxx

**A/N: Ta da!**


End file.
